A customers story - J

Tell me about yourself…

One of the most important things I want for J is to learn relevant day to day social skills. I see that as more valuable/ more important than having a job.

J does have a job but the support or lack of support that is available to him is not good enough. (Jason has a part time cleaning job with a local company) I can never get hold of the Manager or Job coach.

J used to work in the ‘Bridge that Gap’ café when it was based at the Town Hall and when it moved to Boyn Grove. He enjoyed the environment, working with people he knew and who knew him. He was able to learn cookery skills that are relevant in a safe and supportive environment. He felt a real sense of achievement when he worked there.

He has been doing a Cookery course at college and he finds this way of learning too restrictive. The time scales do not work for him and there’s paperwork for him to read, follow and fill out which takes away from the cooking element, (we often have half cooked meals brought home.)

I remember he used to join a group at the day service, ‘Cake and a Cuppa’ and the way that this was planned supported Jason’s way of learning. They didn’t just make cakes, and the social interaction and support from staff meant that he wasn’t tied to a schedule.

J enjoys being around people. I want him to be more independent and develop his social skills, I want him to go into town and meet his friends, not with me/mum all the time. We go into town regularly and, as he likes to go to the same places, a lot of the shop workers and market stall holders know J, so I feel that he is safe, but I do still worry that he will go off on his own, because that’s sometimes what he does, and someone could take advantage of him.

Friendships are difficult so going to Boyn and the social group that meet at The Bear (pub in Maidenhead) as well as getting support from local Agency means that he can meet people and maintain friendships. J needs some support in this area as he doesn’t pick up on social clues e.g. if his friends decided to go for a coffee and he’d already had one, he wouldn’t think to join them anyway because it’s not just about having a coffee, its as much about the social interaction.

It is important that his relationships are with people that know him and support him, people who treat him as an adult/ as an equal. That’s why he enjoys being with certain staff from Boyn/ Agency. He’s a young man. He wants the same things as other men his age including relationships. He likes to be around people of a similar age.

Affordability is important, although J has access to his own money and we support the things he wants to do, we know that not all his friends are in the same situation. This can make things difficult. He doesn’t fully understand money and would always use a note of Pound coin to pay for things, now we are all using contactless this has helped.

Because of J’s epilepsy, he does need support from someone who understands this and although we encourage him to be more independent I am not able to leave him at home on his own for too long (2 hrs), just in case he has a seizure. He has all the things that young men have, internet, mobile phone etc.

We encourage him to use the local bus, which he can do independently, but sometimes he gets on the wrong one. He has a mobile so he can call if he ends up at the wrong place. J doesn’t take on the finer details in situations like this.

J is collected from home when he is supported by the Agency and if he is going to a club. He is able to walk to and from Boyn Grove.

Travel training and independent living skills are all well and good if they are relevant. I know that if you taught J how to work a washing machine outside of where he is living that the one at home would be completely different which makes it frustrating for him and a waste of time.

I do think about J moving on in the future, he doesn’t want to yet and we don’t want that now but it would be useful to have somewhere (like a halfway house) where he could stay e.g. respite and start to learn those skills in preparation. Cooking, looking after himself, socialising etc. He needs support to understand what he is reading and make sense of it.

J has forgotten some of the things he used to do before the pandemic as it has been so long. The ZOOM contact that was set up during this last lockdown has been brilliant, he’s loved that he can see his friends and the staff at Boyn. During the first lockdown, this wasn’t available, and the difference is noticeable. J can make his own choices and if a ZOOM call interferes with his routine, he won’t join it. J likes to know where he is and what he’s doing, he likes a routine.

The continued changes during the pandemic have been difficult for J to comprehend as he struggles with a sense of past, present and in the future. This is frustrating and leads to increased stress and worry.

J enjoys being outside and busy. He works hard when he volunteers with the gardening team at Boyn and when they support a local horticultural/agricultural business. It’s good for his physical and mental health.

Debbie was asked what improvements could be made?

The area that could be most improved (at the day service) is that if changes are known in advance, it is easier to work through with J and organise.